What’s Perfect Anyway?

Hello and Happy Thursday everyone! I hope that March has been treating you well and prepping you for some beautiful springtime weather. March has been a big month for me - I actually turned 30 and it didn’t hurt as bad as I thought it would, so there’s that! Some other things that have happened - my daughter Anna Kate and her two younger cousins, Sutton and Emerson were dedicated at church on Sunday with all of our families present. Also, my brother-in-law Sawyer was baptized on the same day, which was such a blessing to witness, and his parents were able to be there too! Talk about a special day!

So, this blog post today is kind of in regard to my last therapy session. I was asked to make a list of my day to day insecurities and no matter which way I spun it, worded it, or thought it, it all kind of boiled down to feelings of inadequacy. Am I good enough? Do others think highly of me or like being around me? Am I a good mother? Am I a good wife? After going over this, my therapist raised a few important questions. “What is good anyway? What is the definition of a good mother, or a good friend or spouse? What do these things mean to you?” The thing is, there is no completely right answer, and on top of that, there is no perfect. Unless you are talking about God himself, perfect is unattainable, yet we still try and hold ourselves up to this standard.

I’m not saying there is anything wrong with having high standards for yourself. In doing so, we put forth lots of hard work and effort that we can be proud of. In fact, I think looking back at certain accomplishments can be very rewarding and bring us joy. BUT, when we get so wrapped up in the “perfect”, it takes the good out of it almost. It’s no longer enjoyable. It can become stressful and even a bit of an obsession. I’m hoping that makes sense.

So again, what makes the perfect person? What is the perfect weight, height, shape, age? What about hair color and skin tones? Personality traits? Funny and loving… what about being smart or being kind? Am I a perfect spouse because I’ve never spoken an ill-word to my significant other, the house is spotless and the dinner is ready? What about a perfect mother? Will it be so if I breastfed my baby, only fed them organic snacks and have read to him/her every night since they were in the womb? You see??? There is no perfect!

There is only the best you can be or do. That can even change from time to time. Today my best might be showing up to work on time, making sure my kid is fed and at every practice, homework done, bathed and in bed by 9pm with a little lovey-dovey time leftover for mama and daddy. Tomorrow my best might be to scrape through my workday, go home, order a pizza for supper, use dry shampoo for the 4th day in a row, fall asleep on the couch with my clothes on and that was all she wrote.

All in all, I guess as cliche as it sounds, be kind to yourself. Give yourself a little grace. You are not and never will be perfect and nobody expects you to be. Honestly, perfect sounds pretty damn boring if you ask me.

Love from me to you! Alexis